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   Wednesday, January 11, 2006  

Last week Thieu's car was officially dead and sat out the front, sadly, bringing down the tone of the street. This meant that we were offically looking for a new car - a really new one. One that has never had a previous owner. This would be a first for both Thieu and me. Thieu has only ever owned very old cars with lots of personality and I have only ever owned bicycles. So it has been feeling weird going to car lots and test-driving new cars. They smell funny. In fact, they make me feel a bit sick.

The whole idea with this new car thing is that I'll be driving it too. This, quite frankly, terrifies me. Much more than giving birth ever did. I am what is known as a nervous driver - the sort that waits far too long at intersections before turning and who is happy to park several kilometres away from their destination just to avoid doing a parallel park. So while I am keen for the new car to arrive, I also fear it. I haven't actually driven a car for five years either and it was bad enough when it was just me but with an infant I suspect it will be so much scarier. The only thing that reassures me is that if she starts screaming while we are travelling from A to B it will be in the privacy of our own private bubble and not on public transport.

Mothers Group
Tomorrow another scary thing is happening. First mothers' group. I have been telling people that I'm quite looking foward to going and that it'll be good to know other mothers in the area but now that it's almost here I'm starting to chicken out. I don't think I ever imagined I'd be going to such a thing. What do you do at them anyway? Talk about how often and how well your baby poos? Someone told me that all their mothers' group ever did was bitch about their husbands and compete with how quickly their babies reached each milestone. I think I might lie about M's age and pretend she's much younger than she really is.

M is sleeping better in the evenings now to the point where, early this week I found myself thinking "I might just fire up the computer and do some writing tonight." It felt really good to do something non-baby related and the hour just flew. I've done it on subsequent evenings and it felt just as good. I've always found it a bit of a chore to get myself to actually sit down and start writing but so far this week it's been easy and fun (well, almost fun). I've joined an online writing group which has spurred me on to revisiting some old short stories and I'm starting to think about what kids books I might do this year. I suspect that this new found enthusiasm will wax and wane depending on how M's sleep - and mine - are going, but at the moment it's good.

Which inevitably leads me to ponder, what on earth am I going to do about this blog?
   posted by *mcb* at 2:32 PM


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